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A post worth reading

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Kelly Grayson over at http://ambulancedriverfiles.blogspot.com has written a great article on a patient he had exhibiting Wolf Parkinson White syndrome.

http://ambulancedriverfiles.blogspot.com/2009/05/little-cardiology-geekery.html

His “Cardiology Geekery” was one of the best written and most educational articles on the topic that I’ve ever read. I learned something, and so should you.

Please come back though :)

Holy Crap! UK medics…

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Y’all need a taser.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5364780/Knifeman-copied-scene-from-The-Shining-as-he-attacked-paramedics.html

Glad that this kind of stuff doesn’t happen where I am much. Medics get attacked all the time, and I am no different… but I’ve never gone through this. I think that here in the states there wouldn’t have been a court case for the perpetrator on this one. I don’t think that the local cops would have used pepper spray here. Probably they would have pulled out their trusty 9mm or the like.

Wow.

Some Behind the Scenes Info

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The post after this, “Clean EMS – A Lifesaving Guide to Ambulance Cleaning” is a loooong one. Wow, I really wrote a bunch there over the 3 or so days that it took me to research and write that one.

Probably not many people gonna be gettin down to the bottom of that one on a blog post… I know that, but it’s important information I think. Maybe I can get it printed somewhere.

This week is the wedding! omg omg omg omg omg!

Oh, check out “The Handover” Blog Carnival that I’m in again this go’round. It’s over at http://rescuing-providence.blogspot.com this month. He did a great job with it.

Dunno how often I’ll be around this week with the wedding and all that. Hope I can get a post or two in, but it probably won’t be my best stuff.
Can’t wait!

Clean EMS – Lifesaving practices in Ambulance Cleaning

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Here is a shocking statistic: According to the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Nosocomial Infections (or Healthcare Associated Infections – “HAIs”) defined as “… infections which are a result of treatment in a hospital or a healthcare service unit, but secondary to the patient’s original condition” are the 4th leading cause of death in the United States. The CDC estimates that nosocomial infections sicken 1.7million patients and are responsible for 99,000 associated deaths each year in US hospitals alone.

Let me repeat those above statements. HAIs KILL almost 100,000 people and make around 1.7 MILLION patients sick and/or sicker PER YEAR in the US. If you don’t believe me, here is the page from the CDC website where I got those facts. I’m inclined to believe the CDC, however I question how many people are weakened from their newly acquired HAI which allows their original condition to worsen and kill them? This means that in the United States of America, healthcare people kill all of those patients every year because we’re not doing things like washing our hands well enough?

My grandmother always told me that a hospital is no place for sick people, looks like she might be right.

Every person spews bacteria, viruses, fungi, and a host of other things everywhere they go. Our skin crawls with Staphylococcus Aureus, microscopic mites, cold and flu viruses, and hosts of other microbes that flake off with our skin and hair. Our fecal matter is full of E. Coli which gets on our hands when we *ahem* clean ourselves. Our coughs and sneezes spew droplets full of germs in a wide radius. Pretty much every time we touch anything our hands pick up thousands (if not millions) of germs that spread to everything else we touch. We are walking, talking Petri dishes being used by all kinds of nasty germs as unwitting patsies to help them breed, move, spread, and infect. Put a bunch of people together and you have an infection control problem. Put a bunch of sick people together and throw in people with all kinds of weakened immune systems and virulent infections and you have a healthcare organization.

Now imagine that every movement inside that organization collects, incubates, breeds, and spreads bacteria. You’re in the hospital and the dietary tray comes by? It left germs. The nurse comes in and holds your hand? She left germs. You take a pen from the registration person? You spread germs. You sneeze? You spread airborne germs. Hospitals are one of the most effective tools that germs have in their arsenal of spreading themselves and causing the diseases that they do and while no exact statistics exist that I’ve been able to find to back up my next statement, Ambulances are probably worse. It makes sense to me because we’re in a smallish enclosed environment that goes all around town to lots of private homes, nursing homes, hospitals, and who knows where collecting various bodily fluids and other types of DNA samples from every person we put in the back (and/or the front). Factor in high call volumes that leave little time for proper decontamination, EMS personnel that have little understanding of proper disinfection practices and that are already overworked, overtired, and under-motivated to properly clean and you have a Mobile Infection Causing Unit (MICU? Cute)

Bottom line: Hour for hour, time spent cleaning your ambulances and your equipment may ultimately save more lives than time spent training.

Before I launch myself into a full-fledged rant on my obsessive-compulsive ambulance cleaning techniques, I think that I should tell you the point of this article. I want to lay out a few simple steps that you can put in to place on your next shift that will keep you, your coworkers, and your patients much healthier and happier. With a little bit of information on proper cleaning practices, you have the potential to make a very large difference in the long-term outcomes of your patients.

Here are some terms you should know:

  • Sterilization: (Also known as Terminal Sterilization): This is a term used to describe the total and complete removal of all forms of microbial life including bacteria, viruses, fungi, and other organisms in all phases of their lifecycle. Sterilization is accomplished by a few methods, two of the most popular being the heat and steam pressure used in an autoclave device and ethylene oxide gas however a long soak in a glutaraldehyde solution may be used. Sterilization is used for “Critical Devices” defined as tools or equipment that come into direct contact with the bloodstream or other normally sterile areas of the body such as IV needles, scalpels, and surgical tools.

  • High-Level Disinfection: This is a term used to describe a very broad-spectrum disinfection process that destroys almost all microbial life but may not completely remove all possible bacteria, viruses, or spores. It is usually accomplished by a prolonged soak in a liquid chemical sterilant but not for the contact time needed for terminal sterilization. This process is used for “semi-critical devices” that come into contact with mucous membranes but for which sterilization is not completely attainable or would damage the equipment. Examples of semi-critical devices in the EMS field include laryngoscope blades, Magill Forceps, and oropharyngeal airways (that thank goodness are now almost always disposable!)

  • Disinfection: This term is used to describe a process in which an environmental surface is first cleaned and then processed in a manner that kills a defined amount of known microbial organisms. There are two further loose classifications of disinfection practices below the above: “Intermediate” which is used for patient care equipment and surfaces such as EKG monitors, Ambulance cots, sphygmomanometers (OMG! I spelled that right the first time!! – It’s a bp cuff), stethoscopes, and other like equipment. “Low” level disinfection would be appropriate for environmental surfaces such as walls, floors, and countertops.

  • Sanitization: This process is defined as a chemical substance or process that kills 99.999% of a specific bacterial sample within 30 seconds but when compared to a normal use concentration a disinfecting agent will kill a broader spectrum of microbial life.

  • Antiseptic agent: This is a term used to describe a process that kills microbial life on living tissue, such as antiseptic soap or alcohol hand sanitizer.

  • Cleaning (or Pre-Cleaning): This is a process used with a detergent and a cloth or other friction-causing device that removes dirt and other gross contaminants from a surface. By removing the gross contaminants, you remove the food that microbes eat, the dirt particles that they hide in, and the biofilms that they create and thrive in. Most disinfectants and sanitizers require a pre-cleaning process in order to be effective.

  • Contact Time: The length of time that a surface must remain saturated with a sanitizer or disinfectant in order to kill the specified number and type of microbes desired.

Why did I go to the lengths that I just did to define such boring terms? Because it gives you an idea of how hard you should work to kill germs in the back of your ambulance. Bacteria and other like microbes grow, adapt, and change in response to various stimuli. There is scientific debate on the next statement but some of these changes may include developing resistance to the chemicals that we use to kill them. Remember, microbes are the ultimate adaptation machines capable of surviving almost anything anywhere. It takes a process to kill them all and to n
ot just kill the slower, weaker members of the microbial “herd”. Think about it, natural selection favors the strong organisms capable of resisting environmental change. Introduce a disinfectant improperly and all you’re really doing is killing the weak microbes and leaving the strong to survive and thrive on the added food source made of the microscopic corpses of their dead comrades.

Eww.

I may be nuts, but I clean hard. When I do my dishes at home by hand because on a medic’s pay I can’t afford a dishwasher (actually I’m just too lazy to install one) I thoroughly rinse my dish sponge, saturate it with water, and then microwave it for two minutes. I do this because a sponge is the perfect environment for bacteria to survive. It’s wet, dark, and warm. The heat and radiation generated by the microwave kill most of the bacteria that grow inside the sponge. Otherwise, all I’m doing is spreading new germs on my dishes. The same goes for cleaning my kitchen counters. Actual scientific studies (That I’ve learned about by reading this awesome column by Dave Barry) state that people who regularly clean their kitchens actually have more bacteria in them than people who don’t clean them much at all. It makes sense. With all of the wiping of surfaces and ineffective disinfection practices done in the home, microbes simply hitch a ride on the sponge or the cloth being used to “clean” and redeposit and breed on another surface. I’m sure they appreciate it.

Unfortunately, what happens in your kitchen also happens in your ambulance. Even more unfortunate for us and our patients, is that your kitchen usually isn’t exposed to MRSA, C. Diff, or Tuberculosis… or HIV, or Hepatitis B, or VRE… or hundreds more other microbes that I can’t spell properly. Start spreading those around and you’ve got yourself a rather deadly situation.

Needless to say, pretty much no matter how good you think you are cleaning your ambulance now you could be doing better. First of all, you should spend some time selecting the proper product for the job and pay attention to how it’s properly used. Fortunately, the good bureaucrats at the EPA, CDC, and a whole alphabet soup bowl of organizations have left you a trail. Always read the product label and instructions and look for the sentence that says “Using this product in a manner not consistent with its label instructions is a violation of federal law”. This is because it is the job of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to regulate and test “Hospital-level Disinfectants” which are appropriate for use in EMS. The EPA tests these disinfectants which contain a wide variety of chemicals or combination of chemicals of varied efficacy against known bacterial cultures. It then measures the length of time that it takes the chemical(s) to kill specific organisms and the amount of the sample that is killed. It is important to remember that the disinfecting agent is only proven to be effective in specific concentrations in specific lengths of time. Any less than that and who knows what will or will not be killed. Also important to remember is that in the lab, they’re testing bacterial cultures without the presence of any dirt, proteins, or any other soil. Microbes hide in the pores of dirt particles, hide under proteins, and create “biofilms” that protect them against noxious stimuli. They’re the ultimate survivors, remember? Heck, even cockroaches get the sniffles.

So how do we translate this little bit of microbiology class into EMS? More importantly, how do we protect our patients’ and our own health by integrating proper cleaning and disinfection procedures into our shifts while still getting time for lunch? By arming yourself with a little more knowledge, and taking the steps that I’m putting forth below, that’s how. Proper ambulance disinfection doesn’t have to be a daunting task. It just has to be done properly. We also need to look over the volumes of cleaning and disinfecting products available as well and learn how to deploy them properly against our pathogenic enemies.

I can’t recommend any one cleaning product. (Although I would review them if they sent me a free case and paid me a lot of money to do so! Proems1@yahoo.com) However I have used a lot of them. My EMT textbook recommended bleach back when I went through my initial training. While common household bleach, which is a solution of the oxidizing agent sodium hypochlorite and some inert ingredients, is very effective in 1:10 bleach/water concentrations as a hospital disinfectant and in 1:30 concentrations as a sanitizer, it is fairly uncomfortable to use in the back of an ambulance. It can damage equipment and clothing and also can cause severe mucous membrane irritation and damage in humans. Bleach solutions are particularly affected by the presence of organic soil and require very thorough pre-cleaning for proper effect. I prefer to use commercially available hospital-level disinfectants that have a short-to-medium contact time against most pathogenic bacteria, viruses, pseudomonas, and fungi and also contain a detergent that can be used in the pre-cleaning steps. It is important to look at the contact time that it takes for the disinfecting agent to work against the microbes it is able to kill. Some products will advertise claims such as “Kills 99.999% of germs in 30seconds!” which is the definition of a sanitizer. However, if you look at the label directions, it kills 2 or 3 germs in 30 seconds but takes a full 10 minutes to be effective against HIV, Hep C, and pneumonia. Look for a chemical that is easy to apply, thoroughly wets the surfaces you’re disinfecting, and doesn’t dry too quickly in your environment. Lysol IC spray®, a popular commercial product, contains isopropyl alcohol and a benzyamoniumchloride compound. The isopropyl alcohol makes up the majority of the formulation and can sometimes dry too quickly to maintain effective saturation of the surface and therefore effective disinfection. If the disinfection product your agency uses dries too quickly, you should reapply it to keep up the proper contact time, or switch products.

My research in to the effectiveness of the popular pre-moistened disinfecting towelettes makes me cringe to think that they’re commonly used as the only cleaning and disinfecting procedure in a lot of places I’ve been to. I have yet to find one of these products that are soil tolerant enough to not require a pre-cleaning step prior to disinfection and I’ve never seen one that leaves behind enough moist product to maintain saturation to the contact time without drying too early. This may be an effective way to pre-clean and maybe sanitize, but I’ve not found one that can be an effective disinfectant with the ineffective contact time. They simply don’t do a good enough job as a disinfectant. However, their big advantage is that by using multiple towlettes on multiple surfaces you’re preventing cross contamination by simply throwing away a dry towlette and using a new wet one on the new surface. It’s the same principle as the people who don’t clean their kitchens often having less infected surfaces than those who continuously spread the germs around. Be careful though, how many times have you seen someone in the ER give the bed a quick wipe, not even wet 100% of the surface area, and then hastily throw on another sheet so they can get another body on the cart?

In the ambulance, I recommend bringing good cloth towels. Use at least 6 or 8 of them. You have to do a pre-cleaning step to remove gross contamination and eliminate the soils that will cause whatever disinfectant you use to lose effectiveness. If you use a combination cleaner/disinfectant you can use it for both a pre-cleaning and then a thorough wetting soak. However for the cost conscious I recommend using a good regular detergent for pre-cleaning because they tend to be cheaper and more effective at dissolving grease and removing soils. Be sure
to change towels often and use proper Body-Substance-Isolation (BSI) to protect yourself from the germs back there. After pre-cleaning, thoroughly saturate each surface in the ambulance with a proper hospital-level disinfectant and watch to make sure that each surface stays thoroughly saturated for the full contact time. Reapply it if necessary. Remember, if you’re not leaving the product on there to do its job, you’re not really doing anything but making the microbes angry. Pay special attention to commonly touched surfaces in the ambulance, such as door handles, radio microphones, the handles on the ceiling, o2 connections, drawer and cabinet handles, and the steering wheel. I even disinfect the handle that’s on our hand sanitizer dispenser. It gets touched a lot with filthy hands. My biggest tip? Take a vacuum into the back of the rig with you to suck the big garbage and dust out of the cracks and crevasses before you pre-clean. It works great and makes it simple to do a great job.

Patient care equipment should be disinfected after every use. Remember to clean and sanitize monitor cables, stethoscopes, BP cuffs, splints, backboards, head blocks, spider straps, cot straps, and anything and everything else we use. Your patients’ lives depend on it. So could yours.

Remember: Be sure to take the time to wait for the disinfectant to do its job. Pay attention to contact time. Always remember a pre-cleaning step. While some minimal soil can be ok, anything that is visibly dirty or that hasn’t been cleaned all shift should probably be pre-cleaned.

Whew! This was a long one. If you got this far, be proud. Remember. Plumbers have saved countless more lives than doctors. Doctors treat disease, plumbers carry it away to prevent it altogether. Next time you see an “Environmental Services” person in the hospital, thank them for being the life savers that they are. Every bit helps.

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Related Posts:

“The Shine Factor” – One of my first, and best, articles.

Reference Material:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disinfection, http://www.wcponline.com/column.cfm?T=T&ID=1482&AT=T, http://firechief.com/ems/ambulance_transports_0301/, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nosocomial_infection, http://www.opticide.com/tb111503.htm, http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/dhqp/hai.html, http://www.futurehealthcareus.com/?mc=appropriate-selection%20&page=ps-viewresearch, http://www.miamiherald.com/living/columnists/dave-barry/story/861087.html

More about The EMT Spot

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In addition to finding myself jealous over his CSS and .xml design skills, I found this post over at The EMT Spot.

http://theemtspot.com/2009/04/14/are-you-the-opening-act-or-the-rock-star/#comment-674

It’s a great read.

I forgot a reciprocal link!

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Oopsie! The guys over at The EMT Spot (http://theemtspot.com) included a link to my site in their April EMS Blogosphere round up. I didn’t find it until just now.

http://theemtspot.com/2009/04/29/the-april-ems-roundup/

Here’s a reciprocal link. They’re good guys over there, really.

EMS Week 2009 – Thank You Letter for your Crews

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This letter is free to copy and customize for your organization. It is a thank you letter from Management to Medics. I do not wish for any credits and you may use it as you see fit.

Oh, and if anyone who comes here wants a custom EMS Week 2009 letter written to fit their needs I will do it for free. Shoot me an e-mail at: Proems1@yahoo.com

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Dear fellow EMS professionals,

EMS Week again is upon us and we’d like to take this chance to say thank you for all that you do. We know that everyone who works here puts in long hours and sleepless nights taking care of the needs of our community and meeting our (company)’s mission. We know that you’re dedicated, we know that you care, and we also know that you don’t get the amount of thanks that you deserve most of the time.

So today, we’d like to take this opportunity to say “Thank you” to everyone who works here. Thank you for your time. Thank you for your dedication. Thank you for your caring, your compassion, and your devotion to patient care. Thank you for working long shifts and for holding over to cover late calls. Thank you for taking time away from your families to keep our trucks on the streets for our communities 24/7. Thank you for thinking on your feet to solve new problems for our patients. Thank you for comforting families. Thank you for comforting the community. Thank you for risking your safety. Thank you for your bravery. Thank you for your commitment. Thank you for more than we have space to thank you for. Thank you for more than we know how to thank you for.

EMS Week is an opportunity for the public to recognize what we do out there every day. It’s an opportunity for us to showcase our talents, to let the public know how to use us, when to use us, and why to use us. It’s an opportunity for us to connect with our communities and for them to connect with us. What we do is important. EMS is a necessary service that is vital for our community and the nation. EMTs and Paramedics are the healthcare safety net for all of us. We’re there for everyone when they need them, on their terms, doing what’s best for them. We come to them, meet them as they are, and give them the best that we have to offer. We should use this week to reinforce that, and to improve our relationship with them.

In closing, EMS Week isn’t quite up to the task of thanking heroes. In reality, nothing is. Please know that no matter what happens, we know that you work hard and that you care. We know what you are accomplishing out there and we give you our respect. We give you our sincere thanks. We pledge to support you as best as we are able and we know that you’ll continue to give us your best.

Respectfully,

Management of Some Ambulance Company Somewhere

http://www.LifeUnderTheLights.com

 

7 calls today so far…

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So I’m working the FD today. 7 calls so far. None of them have been particularly interesting. I’m finishing out the back half of the 24 tonight at the other ambulance service. With the wedding coming up at the end of the month I need all of the OT I can get.

What if EMS people were paid on commission, like sales people? Today I would have lost out for working here. The other place had 5 calls so far and a buddy just told me that they worked and saved a young’ish PNB (That’s a pulseless, non-breather for those of you who don’t work where I work). We do a good job with codes (as I usually call them) and you can find more information about the brand of CCR (Cardio-cerebral Resuscitation) that we do at Http://www.callandpump.org. If we got a commission for the types of calls that we did on any given shift, I think that working the ambulance service instead of the FD would have been more profitable for me today. All I’ve done today is pick people up off of the floor and work a coupla minor fender benders. I don’t think that those types of calls would earn as big of a commission as would working and saving a young’ish code.

Good thing I get paid whether I mostly sit around and blog and work a coupla easy calls or whether I save a truckload of lives and fight fires and stuff.

I have a few ideas on what to write about today and I may get them up tonight. The wedding is coming up at the end of the month and I can’t wait. I probably won’t blog much other than short quips during the week upcoming and following the wedding, so please don’t think that I won’t be back. I’m just busy.

Oh, and the blog has reached a milestone! We’ve had over one thousand unique visitors! Thank you all so much for your support. I appreciate the kind words and comments.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-16

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EMS Week 2009 – Letter to the Editor

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*** Note!! – I’m getting a lot of traffic sent by Google looking for EMS Week thank you letters. There are more than one on this site. This is just the one that was indexed first and pops up first. Look at the home page to see more.

Here is a letter to the editor that I sent to a local paper in honor of EMS week. You may change the name of the service and the geographic location and use it for your service if you wish. EMS Week is May 17th through the 23rd 2009.

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You may never give it a second thought but we’re here for you. When the unthinkable happens Emergency Medical Professionals are standing ready to swoop in and help you and your loved ones. Whether it’s a serious medical condition or accident, EMTs and Paramedics are quietly and heroically performing lifesaving tasks in our communities every day.

EMS Week 2009 will be celebrated this year the week of May 17th to the 23rd. It is a national awareness week highlighting the vital services provided every day by the Emergency Medical Services professionals throughout every community in the United States. Here in (GEOGRAPHIC AREA) we are lucky to be served by dedicated EMTs and Paramedics who give of themselves in many capacities to ensure that our lives are protected.

The (is the 911 ambulance provider for the (GEOGRAPHIC AREA). In addition, we provide (SOME OTHER SERVICES IN SOME AREAS). We would like to thank the citizens in our service area for all of the support that they have given us in the past and would like to take this opportunity to express our continued passion for health in our community. We pledge to continue providing the highest quality Emergency Medical Services and Medical Transportation and to continuously find new and innovative ways to improve our quality and service to our community.

In order to do this we are calling on our citizens to support us by taking a few steps of their own. First, everyone should learn CPR. It is a simple and easy way to make a big impact in the lives of your neighbors and loved ones. With the odds of surviving sudden cardiac arrest decreasing roughly 10% per minute without adequate CPR and Defibrillation, good early CPR saves lives. If everyone knew this lifesaving skill just think of what we could do and who we could save. Please contact our office or your local hospital to find out about upcoming classes.

Second, everyone should learn the warning signs for heart attack and stroke. Studies have shown that 60% of people call a friend or family member when they realize that they may be having a serious medical problem. You should know that approximately 1% of cardiac tissue dies per minute in an untreated heart attack. Paramedic ambulances provide lifesaving medications that can stop or slow down this damage and can be at your side within minutes of a call to 911. This treatment is not only lifesaving, it also can greatly improve your quality of life after the attack.

Again, thank you to our citizens for their support. We encourage the public to say hello to our EMTs and Paramedics as they see them around town and also to contact our office for more information on any of the above topics. Please also see our website at Http://proems.blogspot.com

Sincerely,

Ckemtp NREMT-Paramedic

Anytown Ambulance Service and Malt Shop, Inc

Lie Back and Do Whatever the Nice Officer Says

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File this one under: “Life Training”

So I’m on shift the other day and my soon-to-be wife calls me up and announces: “I just got tazed!!” and she seems happy about this.

“Come again?” I asked. “I was down at the police department for training, and they asked if there were any more volunteers to get tazed and I did! Sheryl (our photographer for the FD) got it on video!”

So again I win the competition that I have going with my friends entitled “My wife is crazier than your wife”. My lovely future wife is a firefighter/EMT as well and is big on the idea that female firefighters have to be 25 times tougher than their male counterparts. Really. She is a tough little cookie. Around 5 feet of dynamite that can out run, out lift, out work, and generally out play most of the males on the department. Being that I am her fiancé, and I have to marry this crazy, crazy woman at the end of the month, I now find myself having to keep up with her as she sets off to conquer the world. It means that I have to pretend to be at least as tough as she is (because I’ve given up trying to be more tough than she is) or the guys on the department will tease me mercilessly about such themes as: 1. “G” wearing the pants in the family. 2. “G” being the one they want on the nozzle and I should engineer or something. 3. Things that I don’t want my mother reading about. 4. Etcetera, etc. This woman is trying to find a t-shirt that says “If I had balls, they’d be bigger than yours”.

I saw the video and I may post it if I can get permission, but it’s just… well, awesome. I recoiled in horror the first time I watched it, because hearing my beloved scream like that is painful, but after watching it repeatedly because I just couldn’t stop myself, I now want the scream as my ring tone. If I do get permission, I envision it being the top result on YouTube searches regarding “hot firefighter chick being tazed”. You can see her being shot (YES!! They ACTUALLY SHOT HER WITH THE BARBS!) and then screaming this horrible, horrible, awesome scream, and then falling down.

My first thought on this was “Dang, now I gotta do it”.

I couldn’t let her be the only one in the fire department and the family that has volunteered to let themselves experience horrible pain. If I did, then she would have something to hold over my head in the whole “Who’s tougher” competition and our fellow firefighters would have a reason to call me something like “Fifi” when compared to my loving bride to be. I couldn’t allow this and as unfortunate for me as it was, I had to be tazed.

I got off shift the next morning and went home and showered, cleaned up, and changed into civvies. Then because I have nothing better to do but volunteer my time to be a Medic/Firefighter instead of something cool like a mountain biker or something, I went down to the station to see my fiancé, who was working shift. Much to my chagrin, She and the rest of her crew had set up a physical firefighter obstacle course consisting of a 7in high step (3minutes), a line and pulley setup where you had to raise a 50′ roll of 1 ¾ hose 20′, a 165lb dummy drag for 100 feet, a run with a high rise pack 50′ with a set of stairs, and then to top it off, ten pushups at the end of it all. They were planning on doing this with full firefighting gear and an air pack on (which for those of you that don’t know, is about 70 extra pounds give or take). We all did it. I was pretty darn tired at the end of it too. I was happy that I showed up some of the young pups that had set it up as well. No biggie. I mean, I’m in reasonable shape, right?

Then they upped everything. 6 minutes on the stair stepper, two raises, two drags, two sets of stairs, and 20 pushups.

You guessed it, “Dang, now I gotta do it”. My fiancé did. ON AIR. I unfortunately, did not get to do this because I had an appointment and couldn’t be all sweaty, remember the shower? Yes, that’s the reason. Well, that, and I had to call the cop shop and ask to be tazed to prove I was a man. Who knew that relationships would be so complicated? Unfortunately, the cops said that they would be happy to taze me as they were conducting day two of their training exercise and needed a fresh victim. Crap. That meant that I couldn’t hide behind the fact that no sane police department would let somebody be tazed just because they asked. Maybe they would if you were “Askin’ for it” (sic) but not if you just called them and asked. Maybe they did it as a favor for me because I’m a firefighter and I said that I’d sign a waiver. Thanks!

After skipping lunch so I wouldn’t have a full stomach to puke with, and after a haircut because I had a meeting later that afternoon, I walked over to the cop shop. To prep myself, I had um, peed first so I wouldn’t become incontinent (translation: Pee myself like a lil girl) and was practicing leaving my teeth together but not clenched and keeping my tongue away from my teeth. I didn’t want to bite my tongue off or something. Heck, I had no idea what I was getting myself in to, and all I could think about was my Fiance’s hauntingly awesome scream that I’d heard on the video. The fire department send over an ambulance (dual medic) and an engine company to “provide medical coverage” which means they wanted to see me fry and probably wet myself too. (That’s why I peed first, I sure showed them!). Since the PD is just across the street from our station, I walked over.

The cops were preparing before the class. The instructor was a certified taser instructor and had two-page waivers at the ready for any of us who wanted to be tazed to sign. I read it, and signed it. They decided to do the demonstration first, since so many of us had shown up to watch. There were three of us that volunteered: a new recruit for the PD that had to be, and another firefighter and myself that wanted to be… or in my case, didn’t want to be but had to anyway. I wanted to go first because I had a theory on this. I figured that I would go first, so that I wouldn’t see anyone else go through the tazing. I also figured that I wouldn’t let myself think about what was happening to me until after it had happened. I thought that if I just stood there, nonchalant like, and just waited until they shot me that I couldn’t chicken out once it was happening. As long as I didn’t chicken out and just let it happen, It’d be over before I could chicken out.

Awesome plan, right?

So I took my place in front of two mats, pretending to be nonchalant and also that I didn’t know what was about to happen. I did promise myself that I wouldn’t scream though. I promised myself this in the 7 or so freakin hours that they waited while the two gentlemen who were holding me up took their places under my arms to catch me and then everyone talked about what was going to happen. It took seriously like a freaking year for them to taze me. I wanted to yell out “Just taze me, bro!” but I didn’t. I just concentrated on keeping my tongue out of the way of my teeth and telling myself that I wouldn’t scream and pretending I didn’t know that I was about to be tazed and BZZZZZZZZZLGPHYKKAKAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I did feel myself screaming, and everyone told me that I screamed really, really loudly. I also knew that I was standing until I fell. Thankfully the two gentlemen on my sides controlled my fall so I didn’t face plant on the pads. I remained conscious throughout and I didn’t pee myself (I’m proud of that). I can’t describe the pain with any justice but I can say that it hurt really, really bad. I remember feeling every muscle in my body contract hard. I remember feeling the alternating pulse of the taser unit making my muscles contract and relax a lot (They say it alternates like 20 times a second) and I remember my only conscious thought was that it was taking way longer than the supposed 5 seconds that it was supposed to. I estimate that it lasted 27.5 years. When it was o
ver, I was laying face down. My low back was killing me like I had just spent two hours doing back extensions. That, however, was the only pain I felt. Once the electricity was off, it was off. I could have popped back up and fought at that point, but I knew that the barbs were still in me and that they were attached to that hell with a trigger. I was in full compliance with the nice police officer and would not have dreamed of doing anything but laying there. The taser has the capability of delivering as many shocks as they want to give you, 5 seconds a pop, with just a pull of the trigger. I couldn’t dream of taking another five seconds. No way.

After they ripped those dang barbs out of me, and Gina ripped a chunk out of me with the first one, I was able to get up and function normally with no adverse effects from the taze. I felt good, solidly in the knowledge that my manhood was intact. Knowing that there is a video of it that is not yet available that probably shows me screaming like a school girl finding her first pimple is less comforting, but I haven’t seen it yet.

My vote on the whole tazer controversy is this: I support them. They really really hurt. It’s unimaginable that I’d ever want to take that again and I was scared to be in the same state as the taser when they shot the other two guys. However, if I was to really be resisting the cops and they exercised other options to control me such as their baton, pepper spray, or an elbow to the face I would still be injured and would have been in a lot more pain that would have lasted longer and required medical attention. I’ve been pepper sprayed before in a former job as a hospital security guard and I was able to keep fighting through it. This would not be possible with a taser. They offer immediate control and no real lasting effects. As I see it, the cops have two options if someone comes after them with a knife: Taze them or shoot them. I vote taser in that scenario.

Best advice ever: Just lie down and do whatever the nice officer tells you to. Well, that and… “Love Hurts”.

———————————-

In probably my next post I’ll tell the story of the other firefighter that got tazed. We had some more fun and hooked him up to a lifepack 12 monitor while we were shocking the crap out of him. Hilarity ensued.

 

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