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Patient Friendly Jokes

I always look for clean jokes to tell my patients, here’s where I’ll keep a repository of them

Care to Share My Stuff?? C'mon, Go ahead.
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  • SeanEddy
    A guy is sitting in the waiting room at the hospital when the doctor walks out and says "Your wife doesn't look so good".

    The man replies, "I know doc, but shes a great cook, makes a lot of money and she's good in bed".
  • Guy goes into the doctor's office for an ear infection. The loud-first-sergeant-type nurse shuffles him to a cubicle and tells hime to take off ALL clothes and put on the stupid paper examination gown.

    Sitting there freezing, he starts grousing out loud about having to sit there naked for a stupid ear infection when he hears a voice from over the top of the wall "Hey--don't feel bad. I just came in here to fix the damn telephones."
  • landfill624
    Whats blue and smells like red paint?

    Blue paint.
  • My Kindergartener's favorite joke:
    "What's green and has four legs and would realy hurt you if it fell out of a tree?"
    --A pool table
  • Ambulance_Driver
    Guy goes to his doctor's office for a cold, and the doctor, looking very harried, comes into the room and gives him a quick but thorough examination.

    Doc tells him, "Sorry, but it's a madhouse around here, what with all the swine flu cases and all. I'm just going to write you a prescription for - "

    And the doctor goes to pull the pen from the pocket of his lab coat, only to discover that it's a rectal thermometer.

    "Oh great," he mutters in disgust. "Now some asshole has my pen."
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